Cummings – “Just imagine it Boris, it will be perfect, no mass gatherings, everyone separated and isolated, people at each other’s throats on social media. We’ll have divided the whole world. Then we can take over and do it our way…”

“I don’t know Dom, it’s a bit much isn’t it? – Boris

“Well everyone’s in on it now you can’t really back out. Vlad’s sorted it all”


“Yeah Vlad’s in touch with the Chinese, they know what they’re doing”

“Bit easier for the Chinese I guess. They’ve already got everything in place. Mass Surveillance everywhere. What about Trump?” – Asked Boris

“No they’re not interested in talking to him, he’s doing their work for them anyway”

“So he won’t know”

“He doesn’t get fed much information about anything”

“Well they’ll be in a pickle then.”

“Yeah which gives us an advantage when it gets down to the trade talks”

“But how long will it last?”

“A few years, but then people will build up immunity. It will mainly be old duffers in care homes that croak it, so when they’ve gone we can shut those down, big savings there. In the meantime we can cover over the Brexit shitstorm, shut down any revolts and do things on our terms. It will be a global economic reset. There’s so much real estate we can flog to the Russians when the businesses go down the pan”

“What businesses going down? you know we’re meant to be looking open for business don’t you Dom?

“Yeah of course, it will mainly be the hipsters and hippies who don’t vote for you anyway mate”

“Nightclubs and the like?”

“Yes exactly, anywhere with a crowded gathering, so clubs, gigs, festivals, we can shut them all down”

“No more singing “Ohhh Jeremy Corbyn” at Glastonbury” – Cummings

“Yes that was very irritating. Get the hoodlums together and they start getting ideas above their station” said Boris

“But what about pubs, restaurants and the like, if we shut all the pubs down then we really will be in a pickle won’t we?”

“Don’t worry we can keep them, just spread people out a bit, might have to wear masks”


“Yes, masks will be the main thing. We’ll confuse people about masks. When and where not to wear them and stuff. It’s going to be big business as well. I’ve got a list of the companies we can talk to about sorting out all the pandemic gear”

“Oh right, yes of course, get Matt onto it, he’ll have some chums ready to procure the right equipment I’m sure.”

“I will Boris, in good time, for now this is between me and you”

“OK, yes obviously we need to keep a lid on it”

“and I’ve got an idea for when the virus gets to us”

“What’s that”

“We’ll say you’ve got it”

“Come again”

“Yes, we’ll make out you’ve working so hard to keep the country going that you’ve been infected with the virus yourself. You’ll get sympathy from the masses and we can get the red wall that we broke down onside.”

“To what extent though, I’ll have to still be in position won’t I?. Can’t let the country not have a PM at a time of crisis”

“Yeah don’t worry it will be fine, a couple of days in hospital, quick intensive care job, but still caring about the country from your hospital bed”

“OK I’m in. It’s getting a bit far-fetched isn’t it Dom?”

“Don’t worry Boris, 2020 will be madness for everyone. They’ll take it all in, we just need to ride the waves. Obviously we’ve got the vaccine but that’s just for the circle, we can release that when everything’s how we want it”

“Ok Good man, let’s do it. To our meritocratic technopolis!”

**Glasses Clinked**

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